The cataract and the concerned son.

A cataract is a clouding that develops in the crystalline lens of the eye or in its envelope, varying in degree from slight to complete opacity and obstructing the passage of light. Early in the development of age-related cataract the power of the lens may be increased, causing near-sightedness (myopia), and the gradual yellowing and opacification of the lens may reduce the perception of blue colours. Cataracts typically progress slowly to cause vision loss and are potentially blinding if untreated.

This is the excerpt from the Wikipedia documentation for the cataract. I had heard of the cataract many a times. But I never bothered to understand what exactly it is. But when my mother was diagnosed to be affected by it, I was concerned. It is not a major and dangerous disease. But I did not know that. Then when the doctor advised for an operation, I was really concerned.

The operation took place on the 17th of this month. It lasted but a few minutes. Nonetheless, care had to be taken to prevent any dust particles from entering the eye. When I went to the Eye Surgical Center, my mom was dressed in the hospital gown by the nurse to prepare for the operation. My heart skipped a beat when I saw that. I knew I was over-reacting; but I could not picture my mother at that position.

I always thought of her to be invincible. Well, I was in for a rude awakening. Once I saw my mother in that state, I started thinking about what would happen if either my father or mother pass away. I know it is inevitable. A life once born HAS to die. It is the law of nature. When I imagined a situation similar to the one mentioned, I freaked out. What would I do without them? This is the first thought that came to my mind.

At that moment I thought; “Why is it that I am over-reacting now?”. I always knew everybody had a lifespan and it was unbelievably short. I decided then and there that I had to keep my parents happy. That is what led to me telling them that I hadn’t done particularly well in the examination. They found it a little depressing as I have already lost two years as of now.

But I confidently told my father later that night that come next academic year, I will be attending college. I could make out he felt momentarily happy that his son who had not excelled in anything until that point and had a very low self confidence, is now providing him confidence. I felt I was going to burst out into tears. But I could not let them see me cry. It would devastate them horribly. If anything, I had to keep them from worrying about my life which has become a question in itself.

I succeeded in that. But to make that permanent, I have to stop wasting my time on unnecessary things and start utilising each and every second of my life to the fullest possible extent. I need to stop worrying about small things such as; Why aren’t my comments increasing? and why the neighbours always talk crap about my family. There are many other things I should stop doing in order to bring myself up in life. The biggest of which is LAZINESS.

That said, I should stop this rant at this point and get back to studying for the exam taking place day after tomorrow. Signing off, your depressed VTU student, Pavan a.k.a Anniyan.

Once upon a time – (Chapter 7)Falling back to normalcy.

Continued from the previous chapter, Remembered after all.

“I still remember the day when you first taught me how to swim in the public swimming pool. I was so scared I would drown that I almost never let go of you that day.”, said Kiran. “Yes, that was a very funny incident. But you have taught me much in life too.”, Aditya replied. Kiran called up to his office and told his secretary to cancel all his appointments for the rest of the day. They both just wanted to talk and talk until they ran out of topics. Kiran’s wife put their son to sleep and she was busy knitting something.

Now that they were free, Aditya and Kiran wanted to go to their favourite haunt. They went in and sat down at a table and ordered a couple of sundaes and started talking. “I can’t believe that our city has changed so much”, said Aditya. “Many things have changed since you moved, Chinnu.”, replied Kiran. Aditya was very euphoric when he was addressed using his childhood nickname. “So what do you do nowadays?”, asked Aditya.

“Well, I studied engineering and got a very good percentage. But sadly, only that was not enough for me to find a job that I liked. They told me I lacked practical implementation skills. I was literally devasted when they told that to me. I was thinking only of you. After a couple of months, my father suggested that I take over his business. I did not want to, but I had no choice. Some months later, I was married to his friend’s daughter. Thankfully for me, she has been a good wife to me and a good mother to my son.”, replied Kiran.

Aditya just sat there open-mouthed, just listening to all the things Kiran told him. He wanted to say so many things. But somehow, he could not find the words to say it. After a long chat, both the friends thought of going back to Kiran’s house. The rest of the evening, Aditya told Kiran how he fell in love and how he settled down in life. Kiran, listening to this felt that he had missed his friend too much.

As the time drew nearer for Aditya to leave, he made it a point to visit Kiran’s house again with both his wife and daughter. Aditya bid goodbye to Kiran’s wife and son and got into Kiran’s car. The drive to the bus-stand was very difficult on both of them as they did not want to be separated again. But with the promise of the next visit, Aditya got into the bus reluctantly. Slowly, things were falling back to normalcy.

He did not sleep even a wink through the entire journey. He was just thinking about his day with his childhood friend and the days he spent with him as a child. Before he knew it, he had arrived at his destination and it was time for him to dismount from the bus. As soon as he got home, the first thing he did was to mention the name Kiran to his wife. He had told her very much about Kiran. She was happy for him. Then and there, they started planning for meeting up with him. Their plan would not have to wait for too long to be implemented. New year was just around the corner.

I know the story is dragging a little bit. But that is what I have planned. I have thought of an ending and this is how I wish to present it. Last chapter to be out soon.

Will I get a Job?

A warm hello to my fellow bloggers. I have been sharing most of my personal life with you as I would be with my close friends. But there is something I have hidden from for this long. If anyone has the idea that I am a very successful person in life and am doing pretty good with my stuff, I am sorry to say I have misled you. I am currently doing my engineering in APS College of Engineering, Bangalore. I should have been in my final year of college. Unfortunately, it is not so. I really have been putting my share of work towards achieving marks in the examination. I would also like to share with you that I have a fair bit of practical knowledge about the subjects I am studying. But what I apparently don’t have is the theoritical knowledge which is of utmost importance if I want to complete my engineering.

And again I have lost one more year because I could not clear some subjects. As per the rule, I cannot have more than 4 arrear papers. But I have more than 4. i will keep trying and will do whatever I can to finish these papers in this attempt. I have already lost 2 years and I cant afford to lose any more. What worries me most is that my father is on the verge of retirement and I have not given him any proof that I will settle down well in life. Even if I complete my engineering with flying colours, I am very doubtful whether I would get a job. Many of my friends who have passed out with an aggregate of 65-70% are still suffering without a job. I felt a chill go down my spine just thinking about it. What will I do? Will I get a job? If so, will it be to my satisfaction? These questions are what worry me the most these days. They are also the reason why my post quality has come down.

The reason I wrote this post is because even my parents fail to understand these worries of mine. I am not blaming them for anything; as it is not their mistake at all. I haven’t given them anything to uphold their trust in me. It has been many days since I laughed out heartily. Even this moment I am getting a little emotional and a lump is forming in my throat. But I try to hide these feelings from my mother. Since I don’t go to college nowadays, I have no one else to spend time with. My only respite is the short conversations I have with my best friend Harsha (a.k.a SU) and the chats I have with my other best friend Apoorva over the phone. I am hoping that this reign of bad luck will end soon and things will start to look up.

I found this is the only other place where I can say anything I want to and others will listen without interrupting me. So if I have bored any of you I am not sorry. This is just my personal rant and I don’t expect anyone to react to it. I think I feel a little better after letting all this out. Until next time, Pavan.

Respect is EVERYTHING!

A very good day to all my readers! Yesterday, I was thinking about the respect shown to my father by other people. I will explain why later in this post. Having this in mind, I was browsing the net looking for anything based on respect. At that time, I came across this very interesting website. It is about RESPECT. This made me think of the various forms respect. According to me, there are two. They are:

• Respect due to fear of the person.

• Respect shown for the value you have given them in your heart.

Don’t worry guys, I will explain. But before that I wish to tell you about the examples that I am going to take in order to explain it. For the first, I take the example of my current(temporary) HOD(Head Of Department). His name is Sameerana. For the second I take my favourite lecturer Mr. Nandeeswar.S.B. If you were very observant, you would have already made out the difference between the respect I have for both these people. But I will explain even otherwise.

Sameerana:

This person is very strict and bosses around the students pretty much the whole time. The reason why I have some respect for him is due to his attitude towards mistakes. He thinks students should not make any mistakes and there should be no room for indiscipline at all. What good is a student life without all these? According to him, we are not undergraduate students but post-graduates. I fear his wrath and obey most of what he says. But otherwise, I hate him. One thing what I thought was, why do people impose themselves on others? The answer I am yet to find out. Now moving on to my next example.

Mr. Nandeeswar.S.B:

Please let me know if I overdo the description part. It is because of the immense respect I have towards him. Why do I respect him so much? The reason is because he does not impose himself on anyone. He is more of a friend than a lecturer to me. He is my definition of a lecturer. I see him as a person who can be trusted with responsibility and leadership. A person like him would not misuse it. This post sir, is a tribute to you. You may not realize how much you have actually done for me. I really wish you would stay in this college for a couple more years, until I complete my engineering. Kudos to a wonderful teacher!

Now that I have explained how I respect these two people, you must have a clear idea on what the two kinds of respect are. Respect is not respect if it is induced because of fear. The way people respect you is based entirely on how you carry yourself in everyday life. Now coming back to my dad, it was because of great love and gratitude that the person showed his respect. A SALUTE to all the people who were responsible for me to write this post.

Image courtesy: Google image search