The world through my foggy spectacle lenses

October 26, 2010 at 11:52 PM 10 comments


Aloha readers!!! I hope you’ve all been well during my absence. The past week has been very depressing for me. But as it turned out I ended up coming out of this depression with whole new outlook on life and the world. Things were blurred initially and nothing made sense. Uncertainty and doubt loomed over me wherever I went and in whatever I did. In short, I wasn’t myself. I was lost!!!

This, I thought was for two reasons:

  1. Loss of my identity
  2. EXTREME Negativity in thought

Initially I couldn’t explain either of these 2 reasons properly. Well, I wasn’t even sure that these were the exact reasons until two of my closest friends (Harsha a.k.a SU and Apoorva) slapped it on my face. I am infinitely¬†grateful¬†to these two for doing that. I had trouble digesting these facts at first. But I did a good bit of thinking and eventually figured out that I was indeed being stupid by not realizing these facts and accepting them.

I cannot possibly start to explain how exactly I lost my identity. But I want to try. Who a person is depends on what his actions are. Similarly, I was defined by my friend Harsha as more or less “living in my room”. I was devastated when I learned this. In fact, this was the major reason I went into the depression in the first place. But this did not deter me. I knew what I wanted. I wanted that randomness in everything that I do. Randomness not just in thought but also in actions. The only thing we are limited by is our imagination. And I was limiting my imagination.

Getting out of this was very simple. I became my same old random self again. It was an overwhelming experience. In short I could relate it to that feeling of completeness which we get when we learn that we have a special and unique place in this world. It felt like both warm and cold air was passing through my body at the same time. Every nerve ending in my body was sensing electricity. It was like I had broken into some hidden reservoir of adrenalin and it just kept overflowing.

Once I got myself back, it was easy to realize that I had extremely negative thoughts and my outlook of life was that of sadness and misery. Most importantly, Self Pity. This is one thing no person should have for more than 10 seconds. Things have become so much more lively and fun now that I have realized what this is all about. And my mind is now busy not being buried in a sea of sorrow, but int a lush pasture for it to graze to its heart’s content.

Things that looked blurred and skewed, look clearer and sharper now that I have wiped the fog off the lenses of my spectacles. Until next time, signing off, an awakened man, Pavan a.k.a AnniYan

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Entry filed under: Life, Random. Tags: , , , , , , , .

Study Hard, Live Easy. Two sides of the same coin

10 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Appu  |  October 27, 2010 at 6:45 PM

    Welcome back…..
    Actually “You live more with your computer” not “in your room”. :P I do accept that you are crazy about it and explore a lot but there are loads of things which will get you out of that monotonous life. Try to experience everything. Life will become more beautiful then.

    Keep posting regularly……. :)

    Reply
    • 2. Anniyan  |  October 28, 2010 at 10:18 AM

      Living with my computer huh??? :) Well, I won’t deny that. But I do realize that I have to get out more. It’s been ages since I went out with my friends itself. Anyway, thanks to you for making me realize it. :)

      Reply
  • 3. Reema  |  October 27, 2010 at 11:32 PM

    Welcome back…Its wonderful u have friends like them and that u have come out of the bad phase.

    Reply
    • 4. Anniyan  |  November 1, 2010 at 5:29 PM

      Oh yes!!! It is indeed wonderful to have friends like these. :)

      Reply
  • 5. Quakeboy  |  October 28, 2010 at 2:45 PM

    Takes a lot to blog about something sensitive like this. Well done..
    Life indeed needs such phases to appreciate the other phase.

    Welcome back :)

    Reply
    • 6. Anniyan  |  November 1, 2010 at 5:30 PM

      I blog about whatever I feel dude. And life will be full of such phases. If one doesn’t know how to come out of them, they are doomed to mental torture.

      Reply
  • 7. arvind  |  October 28, 2010 at 8:08 PM

    hey welcome back .. good that now u are ok . . its always better to leave bad things behind ..,
    keep writing ..

    Reply
    • 8. Anniyan  |  November 1, 2010 at 5:31 PM

      I will definitely try to be more frequent from now onwards. :)

      Reply
  • 9. megha sridhar  |  November 25, 2010 at 7:12 PM

    hey…..
    i’m new to the blog world and i found yours very interesting…. i have one of my own now.
    how can i follow your blog so that i get updates on your new posts??
    i don’t see a FOLLOW option on your blog page……
    Hoping you ll help me out….
    Regards.

    Reply
  • 10. Su  |  January 18, 2011 at 8:56 AM

    on a lighter note, try using Crizal glasses.. seen their ad lately? no blur, fog, dust, smudge, scratch! ;)
    anyway, dont lay eggs on ur past anymore. dont waste this kick ass restart you have got. Be Arch. :P

    Reply

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