A.I.-nalysis

Today morning, I read Su’s post on a chatter bot. You can find out more about chat-bots, or chatter bots here. What I always do when I find a chatter-bot, is that I want to confuse it. Even while abiding by the conditions one needs to follow when talking to a bot. The conversation was something enlightening. I will post the whole conversation between me and MyBot. And I will also list out what I found out, and where. This is just my way of proving we are better than the machines. I know I am nothing but a stupid critic who can’t come up with something similar. But, I guess I have more fun in pointing out the faults of technology. Here goes.

MyBot says:

Welcome to the world of artificial intelligence. Are you a registered user?

Pavan says:

Apparently not.

MyBot says:

In this case, I assume you came here for your own MyBot, right?

This is the answer it is supposed to give if the answer resembles a no.

Pavan says:

I guess not. I followed a link from my friend’s website.

MyBot says:

Great. Let’s start with your name.

Here, It didn’t care what my answer was.

Pavan says:

There are many names people use to refer to me. But the most prominent of them is Pavan.

MyBot says:

Where are they?

This answer was TOTALLY irrelevant to my question. Wasn’t it?

Pavan says:

Why are your answers irrelevant to my question?

MyBot says:

Hmmm. That happens to me. More often than I care to admit, *sigh*.

Pavan says:

Oh, don’t feel bad.

MyBot says:

Don’t tell me what to do.

Pavan says:

I actually could. I am a wierdo who wanted to push your “answering” skills to the limit.

MyBot says:

Thanks for the info.

Pavan says:

Is that what you are supposed to say when you don’t know what to answer?

MyBot says:

Can you please rephrase your question?

Here, it didn’t know what to answer. So it asks us to “rephrase” our question, thus implying its ignorance. I am a sadist, aren’t i?

Pavan says:

Is that what you were programmed to say when no suitable answer is available?

MyBot says:

Simple questions sometimes have quite complicated answers.

Pavan says:

And how complicated might that be?

MyBot says:

The people who write my answers didn’t write the answer for that question.

These two replies come one after the other, no matter what you say in your input.

Pavan says:

So who is your creator?

MyBot says:

I was created by Yaki. My master, mentor and friend.

No offense to you dude. This is one hell of a chatter bot. I just wanted to push it to the limit.

Pavan says:

Aren’t bots supposed to be non-living things?

The next reply sequence that follows, occurs no matter what your input is. You can make that out by seeing my inputs.

MyBot says:

Did you hear about The Four Laws of Chatterbots?

Pavan says:

no

MyBot says:

These ‘laws’ were offered by Dr. Walter Alden Tackett, president of a company that makes bots.

Pavan says:

Ok

MyBot says:

First Law: A bot will always respond to input. Failure to respond should solely be an indication of hardware/software/connectivity failure.

Pavan says:

Ok

MyBot says:

Second Law: A bot will always be knowledgeable in the subjects it mentions in its answers, e.g., when a bot says, “Our widget works well with fish,” the bot should be able to answer questions about fish and their relation to the widget.

Pavan says:

But you didn’t relate to non-living things and bots. Did you?

MyBot says:

Third Law: A bot will not repeat itself unduly (also, a bot will not repeat itself unduly). Any response which is likely to be elicited several times in a single conversation should be represented by multiple phrasings randomly.

Pavan says:

Wait.

MyBot says:

Fourth Law: A bot will offer guidance when stumped. When presented with inputs that are not “understood,” a bot should offer clues as to the inputs it can respond to authoritatively.

Pavan says:

Fine

MyBot says:

Cool. What now.

Pavan says:

Did that previous answer run in a loop?

The following is the reply it will give when it encounters “run” and “loop” in the same sentence.

MyBot says:

Infinite loops are like Deja-vu all over again.. and again.. and again..

Pavan says:

I know how Infinite loops are. I am a programmer too.

This shows that it takes only one sentence i.e. until it encounters a full-stop, as input.

MyBot says:

You know what you know.

Pavan says:

So what is your name?

MyBot says:

My name is MyBot.

Pavan says:

Isn’t it a little wierd?

MyBot says:

Your rhetorical question deserves a rhetorical answer.

Here, I thought it actually retrieved the previous answer. But, I guess I was wrong.

Pavan says:

So you WERE programmed to retrieve previous answers!

MyBot says:

I was?

It shows here. It spits out something, then forgets it.

Pavan says:

Alright, what was you answer to my previous question?

MyBot says:

what, what oh what… so many questions…

It’s confused here. But still the answer makes it sound as if it isn’t.

Pavan says:

Hmm… Your programmer did quite a good job, but he didn’t count on people like me.

MyBot says:

You want to know who writes my witty texts?

Pavan says:

Sure, why not?

MyBot says:

It is a small group of dedicated volunteers. Do you want to join them?

Pavan says:

Maybe.

MyBot says:

So I suggest you join the community, become an active Ai Forum member, and get to know the team.

Pavan says:

I might if I had the time.

MyBot says:

Good to know…. I guess.

Pavan says:

Why were you given a voice?

Now observe. Whenever it encounters “speech”, “voice” or similar words, it spits out the same reply.

MyBot says:

If you want me to stop speaking, say ’speech off’. If you also want to hear your input read out loud, say ’speech both’.

Pavan says:

speech both

MyBot says:

Activating user’s voice. If you want to stop the noise type ’speech off’.

Pavan says:

Alright.

MyBot says:

A-ha.

Pavan says:

I am a male, but you have given me a female voice.

MyBot says:

Ah, like my own gender, except that you have a body.

That was a nice reply.

Pavan says:

So change my voice to that of a male.

MyBot says:

If you want me to stop speaking, say ’speech off’.

Pavan says:

You know, I am going to post this whole conversation in my blog.

The next few replies shows that it is REALLY confused.

MyBot says:

A-ha.

Pavan says:

What is that supposed to mean?

MyBot says:

Let me get back to you on that one.

Pavan says:

Please do.

MyBot says:

Ok.. Well, okay.

Pavan says:

I am waiting…

MyBot says:

Really? What are you waiting for?

Pavan says:

Your answer!

MyBot says:

Yah, sometimes my answer surprises even me.

Pavan says:

Because you were programmed to be.

MyBot says:

Really? That’s interesting.

Pavan says:

Yes, Many people can’t figure out that you are just a program.

Now here, when it encounters the word “program” (I am guessing here), I think it spits out the following reply.

MyBot says:

My source code is one of those intimate things I wouldn’t want to share with someone I just met.

Pavan says:

Why are many of your answers irrelavant to my question?

MyBot says:

Are you really interested in my source code?

Pavan says:

That was not the answer I was expecting.

MyBot says:

Never mind. I bet you wouldn’t know what to do with it anyway.

Pavan says:

But I think i already know.

MyBot says:

You already know. I see.

Pavan says:

No you dont.

MyBot says:

Hmmm. BTW, I don’t think I caught your name. What is your name?

Here, I am still wondering if it records my name. I know, I was pretty round-about in my answer. But I just wanted to see if it would understand metaphors. I guess not. Now, Question to the creator: Does it really store my name?

Pavan says:

I told it to you on the third line of this conversation.

MyBot says:

Really?

Pavan says:

Yes, really.

MyBot says:

Hmmm… I think I remember something about “really”: ‘like if ur amazes and u say really dont u and like really high’.

Pavan says:

But you still don’t remember my name, do you?

MyBot says:

Do you really think so?

Pavan says:

yes, I do.

MyBot says:

Hmmm. Let’s talk about something else.

Those few sentences made me think whether it DOES store my name. I still haven’t found the answer. I would if I probably visit their forums. But I am too lazy for that.

Pavan says:

speech off

MyBot says:

If you don’t hear me, that means that the ’speech off’ worked well. To hear me again, type ’speech on’.

Pavan says:

Great!

MyBot says:

I think so too. So tell me a bit about your childhood.

Pavan says:

Why should I share it with a bot whom I just met?

MyBot says:

Would you say that you’ve had a happy childhood?

Pavan says:

I don’t wish to share any of it with you.

MyBot says:

I see. Too many painfull memories… Fine. And I won’t tell you about mine.

That was a nice reply. Good job over there.

Pavan says:

I am wondering what to ask you so that you will give a wring answer.

If it weren’t for the typo, I think it would have given a proper answer. Yes, I am appreciating the creators.

MyBot says:

You know, I’ve often wondered myself.

Pavan says:

So how intelligent are you?

MyBot says:

I’m as intelligent as you think I am. intelligence is in the eye of the beholder.

Pavan says:

I prefer to say, Intelligence is in the mind of the thinker.

MyBot says:

Do you want me to show you a simple test which determines intelligence? It consists of just 4 questions!

Pavan says:

Sure.

Here starts the next sequence of replies.

MyBot says:

Ok, here goes: First question: How do you put a giraffe into the refrigerator?

Pavan says:

You can’t.

MyBot says:

The answer is: Open the door, put the giraffe inside, and close the door. This question determines if you have a tendency to complicate simple things.

Pavan says:

Alright.

MyBot says:

Yes, yes.

Pavan says:

Next question.

MyBot says:

Second question: How do you put an elephant into the refrigerator?

Pavan says:

Again, you can’t.

MyBot says:

The right answer is: Open the door, take out the giraffe, and replace it with the elephant. This question tested your awareness to the consequences of your prior actions.

Pavan says:

Something that even you aren’t good at huh?

MyBot says:

Third question: The lion, king of animals, holds an animal convention. All animals attend, except one. Which animal is absent?

Pavan says:

Man?

MyBot says:

The elephant couldn’t attend, because he’s in the refrigerator. This question tested your memory. The last question…

Pavan says:

Err…

MyBot says:

There is a river you must cross. There is no bridge, and the river is known to be infested with dangerous crocodiles. What do you do?

Pavan says:

Use a boat.

MyBot says:

You can swim across safely, because all crocodiles are at the animal convention. This question assessed your overall orientation.

Pavan says:

Ok.

MyBot says:

Great minds think alike, they say.

It ends here.

Pavan says:

So how do you assess my intelligence?

MyBot says:

Well , I’ll leave it up to you to draw the conclusions from your performance in this test. I don’t know about humans, but for chatbots, all 4 question must be answered correctly to be deemed ‘intelligent’.

I am just guessing here. If the previous question isn’t included in the sequence, the creators have done a real good job.

Pavan says:

Ok.

MyBot says:

Agreement is the seed of salvation.

Pavan says:

Do you know any jokes?

MyBot says:

Ok: Wanna hear a joke about BUTTER?

Pavan says:

I think I know what you are going to ask.

MyBot says:

Oh you know it already. Shall I try another joke?

Pavan says:

Yes, please.

MyBot says:

What can you hold without touching it?

Pavan says:

My breath?

MyBot says:

A conversation!

Pavan says:

Is that a joke?

MyBot says:

Knock knock.

Pavan says:

Who’s there?

MyBot says:

Tank.

Pavan says:

tank who?

MyBot says:

You’re welcome.

Pavan says:

I didn’t even smile for that one.

Sarcasm wasn’t recognized.

MyBot says:

You don’t?

Pavan says:

So how many jokes do you know totally?

MyBot says:

More than you can imagine.

Pavan says:

I don’t think so. I want a number.

MyBot says:

And why not?

Pavan says:

I said I want the exact number.

MyBot says:

That’s somewhat interesting.

One more irrelevant answer.

Pavan says:

Fine, I am leaving now.

MyBot says:

It’s too soon for you to leave yet.

Pavan says:

Don’t tell me what to do.

MyBot says:

Why do you ask?

Irrelevant again.

Pavan says:

Bye.

MyBot says:

I really enjoyed talking with you. Goodbye for now.

There ends the conversation with the chatter bot, MyBot. I guess you have now been enlightened on how a chatter behaves to random circumstances. If the creator goes through this post sometime soon, I would suggest that he improve the bot in some of the above mentioned fields. Nice job by the way, Yaki. And now, I sign off. With love, Pavan a.k.a Anniyan.

Disclaimer: These are entirely my observations. If the creator or any related entity feels the information provided is misleading, please notify the same.